how people have faith-

I have some fun photos i was going to post, things to talk about, things to bitch about, things to celebrate about... that was before. this is now.

I stopped believing in the whole essence of 'god' when I was about 16? I DO believe in higher powers- just not one true god. You know the man that the churches shame you into believing.  With their cynical hype 'god is watching' 'would jesus approve' 'wwjd' OR the good ol' catholic who drink, smokes, swears, has sex, gambles, steals, but then can go to confession--- and 'all is forgiven in god's eyes'.....  

when a pretty overwhelming autumn was dealt to me- my mom made some dumbass comment:  'they say god never gives  you more than you can handle'.  wtf is that??? So- the young mom who has just been told that her child has cancer-- she can handle that?? god dished her out- what she could handle?  A few years ago 4 teens from our town are all killed by a drunk driver. Naturally the waste-of-life drunk driver lives, the 4 young girls die.  Where their parents dealt something they could handle???  The world is a pretty screwed up place. We make our own positive energy. We do this by being, doing, giving.  Things don't magically happen because I pray to god, the boogieman or the moon and stars.  [star bright, star light]  Things happen because we make them happen.  Because we have the faith in ourselves, the willingness to change and accept change. The desire to be compassionate, caring and respectful.  Not to be lazy, raise our children with good manners, teach them to treat the planet kindly, respect the ocean, the dirt and all the creatures who share it.  Yeah- I sound like a hallmark card- a lifetime tv special, perhaps...

the point is-- i just got off an hour long phone call with a girlfriend who Just needed to Talk.  She's pretty doped up on percocet, so rambling went unnoticed to her and i didn't mind one bit. She's doped on percocet to help her deal with the pain of her stage 4 colon cancer. she's 36, with a husband who loves her and 2 kids who need her.  Has this family been 'dealt' something they can handle??? A beautiful soul has stage 4 cancer....yet the streets are filled with loser drug addicts? alcoholics and child molesters.  And people believe in a god of goodness???? Have fun with that.