caterpillar girl

23 years ago I was in a bowling alley with my first boyfriend [1985]- first 'crush' [2008].  He had his walkman [cool 80's version of an iPod] and put the headphones on my ears and said: 'this song reminds me of you'.  The Caterpillar~ the Cure

you flicker
and you're beautiful
you glow inside my head
you hold me hypnotized
i'm mesmerized
your flames
the flames that kiss me dead

Not sure why-- but i'll remember that for always.

So- here we are... mom and daughter, bowling alley, in Tampa.  This was last month. 

Next weekend we will officially sleep at the new place. I feel like I currently am residing in a big, empty, cold castle.  it's sad:(  I just walked around and counted... i know that sounds weird. but i counted the 41 doors I painted white.  The 4 large walk-through windows, painted white.  41 Windows painted white and countless feet of trim and moldings.  On the 2nd floor- I hung wood blinds on 19 [of the 41 ] windows.  Larry was away for work. I was  home with the girls, the blinds came the day after I was awoken the night before at 3am.  I awoke to someone singing/talking to me and the tv in the kitchen was turned on.  For some reason I thought if I were to hang the blinds- nothing bad could happen to me??. I know- makes zero sense. It just felt creepy feeling slightly isolated- yet having the whole world being able to 'look in'.  The blinds were all averaged around 40x70.  but each one went to a certain window.  Some were 39.5 x 69, 40 x 68.5 and so on.  I measured all the windows and had them custom.  With 150 year old windows- and nothing remaining prefect-- not all the sizes were exactly the same.  

I really could never picture myself living here when I'm 70- it's a lot of work!! In the same breathe- I never particularly pictured myself leaving here, either.  It's going to be a sad day- leaving this home.