Trying it all-to Master One

caterpillar girl

2008-11-15T23:26:00.008-05:00

23 years ago I was in a bowling alley with my first boyfriend [1985]- first 'crush' [2008]. He had his walkman [cool 80's version of an iPod] and put the headphones on my ears and said: 'this song reminds me of you'. The Caterpillar~ the Cure

you flicker
and you're beautiful
you glow inside my head
you hold me hypnotized
i'm mesmerized
your flames
the flames that kiss me dead

Not sure why-- but i'll remember that for always.

So- here we are... mom and daughter, bowling alley, in Tampa. This was last month.

Next weekend we will officially sleep at the new place. I feel like I currently am residing in a big, empty, cold castle. it's sad:( I just walked around and counted... i know that sounds weird. but i counted the 41 doors I painted white. The 4 large walk-through windows, painted white. 41 Windows painted white and countless feet of trim and moldings. On the 2nd floor- I hung wood blinds on 19 [of the 41 ] windows. Larry was away for work. I was home with the girls, the blinds came the day after I was awoken the night before at 3am. I awoke to someone singing/talking to me and the tv in the kitchen was turned on. For some reason I thought if I were to hang the blinds- nothing bad could happen to me??. I know- makes zero sense. It just felt creepy feeling slightly isolated- yet having the whole world being able to 'look in'. The blinds were all averaged around 40x70. but each one went to a certain window. Some were 39.5 x 69, 40 x 68.5 and so on. I measured all the windows and had them custom. With 150 year old windows- and nothing remaining prefect-- not all the sizes were exactly the same.

I really could never picture myself living here when I'm 70- it's a lot of work!! In the same breathe- I never particularly pictured myself leaving here, either. It's going to be a sad day- leaving this home.

Old woman!

2008-11-11T11:20:00.003-05:00

so- yeah, i'm an old lady! a year shy of 40, yuck. 40 sounds old. I know it's not- but when you were 22- well, 40 seemed so godawful! and so far far a way.

Anyway- old lady [I] aka: college student. So- the highlight of this school day- kayak boy talked to me! Yes, i do realize I'm basically old enough to be his mamma. It's not like I said: I'm dating kayak boy-- but simply I carried on a conversation with kayak boy. Clever and Cute- he is. Hence the name due to the kayak he had on his toaster-style eco-friendly car, one morning. If I were 18 - I would NO DOUBT be going after that.....

Next week- I'm taking Alex and Co. to see Jack's Mannequin. It's in a great little venue= which equals= good show. I like small venues:) dear jack- donate to cancer, please.

sing me a lullaby~

2008-11-10T13:55:00.002-05:00

okay- I really think Brandon Flowers is a beautiful human. Incredibly sexy- good looking and divine, all rolled-up into one.

Anyway- I'm suddenly digging the new Killers song- Human. I'll admit I thought it was really corny at first. [I can't stand the chorus] but put that thing on your iPod and listen to a few 100times, over and over [and over again] and it grows on you a bit. Perhaps because I was a huge Duran Duran fan [in my youth:) ] and Human has that whole '80's vibe-thing goin' on. that little bouncy-dance-beat. hmmmm..... he's still eye candy no matter how you slice it.

all glammed up

2008-11-10T09:32:00.006-05:00

Alex's homecoming dance is coming up

next weekend. We went looking for a dress yesterday and found 2- both in the Free People section. Both were super cute on-

and we couldn't decide.... so we did what any normal girl would do- we bought both. I think she'll go with the blue for homecoming and save the black for this other 'date' dance thing they have. Granted- they look a bit more classier on her-- no lace bra hanging out....

I have some major school junk due/to tend to. I suck at stuff like this. Keeping on track- on schedule. I can accomplish massive amounts of stuff [I've renovated numerous homes, have played general contractor, etc...] but when it comes to junk I don't want to deal with- i have poor time management skills. It's still early in the morning. I have some more studying to do- hit the elliptical and weights- shower- school, take nasty test... then deal with psy and statistics. Every time i get 'even' i promise to myself that 'I'm going to stay on top of it!' I always let myself down... liar. liar.

Smashing Pumpkins-- rather, should say: Billy and Jimmy and random assortment of musicians [i think??] Were in NJ this past weekend. I didn't go. Imagine that???!!! I'm rather surprised myself. It's not the same, the setlists suck! And I think I grew up and out of the need to see the pumpkins. If it was Jimmy Eat World-- I'd be there:) Plus- I was going to go with the BFF- and I wasn't in the mood for that one either. He drinks way too much!!! Atlantic City [where pumpkins played] is his favorite playing field- and I didn't feel like being babysitter, man watcher, etc... Last time we went to AC- I didn't get home until 7am. I can't do that right now. I'll admit- it was a lot of fun:) Maybe I'm not up for fun? Instead I was in Lancaster, Pennsyltucky. Saw the Amish Folk-- had a lot of laughs [with my sis- and our daughters] and drove a lot.

how people have faith-

2008-11-05T20:45:00.002-05:00

I have some fun photos i was going to post, things to talk about, things to bitch about, things to celebrate about... that was before. this is now.

I stopped believing in the whole essence of 'god' when I was about 16? I DO believe in higher powers- just not one true god. You know the man that the churches shame you into believing. With their cynical hype 'god is watching' 'would jesus approve' 'wwjd' OR the good ol' catholic who drink, smokes, swears, has sex, gambles, steals, but then can go to confession--- and 'all is forgiven in god's eyes'.....

when a pretty overwhelming autumn was dealt to me- my mom made some dumbass comment: 'they say god never gives you more than you can handle'. wtf is that??? So- the young mom who has just been told that her child has cancer-- she can handle that?? god dished her out- what she could handle? A few years ago 4 teens from our town are all killed by a drunk driver. Naturally the waste-of-life drunk driver lives, the 4 young girls die. Where their parents dealt something they could handle??? The world is a pretty screwed up place. We make our own positive energy. We do this by being, doing, giving. Things don't magically happen because I pray to god, the boogieman or the moon and stars. [star bright, star light] Things happen because we make them happen. Because we have the faith in ourselves, the willingness to change and accept change. The desire to be compassionate, caring and respectful. Not to be lazy, raise our children with good manners, teach them to treat the planet kindly, respect the ocean, the dirt and all the creatures who share it. Yeah- I sound like a hallmark card- a lifetime tv special, perhaps...

the point is-- i just got off an hour long phone call with a girlfriend who Just needed to Talk. She's pretty doped up on percocet, so rambling went unnoticed to her and i didn't mind one bit. She's doped on percocet to help her deal with the pain of her stage 4 colon cancer. she's 36, with a husband who loves her and 2 kids who need her. Has this family been 'dealt' something they can handle??? A beautiful soul has stage 4 cancer....yet the streets are filled with loser drug addicts? alcoholics and child molesters. And people believe in a god of goodness???? Have fun with that.

an email

2008-10-16T20:38:00.003-04:00

Okay- so here's an interesting little email- between ME and Anna's girl scout leader. Anna's b-day is Saturday:) And it's my turn to bring in snack- so I was going to bring in cupcakes, for the birthday celebration. Mind you- I will be bringing in cupcakes for school-- and then on Saturday, for field hockey. So it goes like so: [she also mentioned something about siblings--- the leaders kids.

I write:

On Thu, Oct 16, 2008 at 8:53 AM, Cris B. wrote:
hi Cheryl-
I was going to bake cupcakes.

how many girls are in the troop this year?
how many siblings are we talkin' :)

She writes:

Cris,
We now have 21 or 22 girls, Olivia S. just joined. Sibling wise we have Christa's 2 boys (possibly), my son (possibly, hopefully not), Lyndsey D., but she should be having snack with her troop, we are walking with the 2nd grade Brownies (Patti's other Troop), I don't know if Kim D. is bringing Tori or not - I am not being very helpful am I? Could you bake an extra dozen? I am no baker and do not know how much more work this is. I do not know exactly how many extra parents are coming yet.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

So-- is this lady on crack?? She thinks I'm going to be baking cupcakes for siblings- some other mom- and her daughter [this lady is not a leader] and then EXTRA parents. Is she fucking out of her mind? Does she think this is a Birthday Party- and I'm the caterer??? First off-- the SNACK is a snack- and it's for the Girl Scouts!!! not every other joe-schmo who happens to be in the vicinity. AND-- NONE of these bloody cows need a cupcake!

Yeah, maybe I'm bitter.. i don't care. Store bought cookie cake it is!!!

Before-

2008-10-15T09:51:00.002-04:00

A Before shot of what is going to essentially be 'my room'. As head-designer, I think I'm pretty much aloud to claim a room - eh?? The ugly shelves had to go! I knew what I'd find behind them-- and sure enough:

The After- I really do like/love this room. I'm working on the next room currently. Same Sea Salt ceiling colour- with pewter walls. It's turning out great!- I'll have photos once it gets some furniture in it. What's really sad- is I'm able to furnish these rooms, and still live here- comfortably. Once the kitchen is done- then the beds will come over. Whatever is left here-- being sold! Downsizing sucks- and is liberating all at the same time:/ oh well....

What I really Want

2008-10-14T22:38:00.000-04:00

I. WANT. YOU. Santa????

I succeeded!

2008-10-13T22:57:00.003-04:00

Tonight- I had a great conversation with a friend on the phone:) I really feel like I succeeded:) with turning one little girl - into a girl who likes Hockey!

A 9 year old girl, on my field hockey team, told her mom this:

"I always want to be wing- and I never really want to be half back. I'm really good at halfback- so now I'm going to concentrate on being THE BEST HALFBACK EVER!"

This MADE my night! All these kids want to play- offense, offense, offense. Like Defense is some horror house- no one want to go there. Granted some are better in D-- some better in offense. 3/4's into the season- you really can start to watch these girls. See where their talents are- where they need work. I really love love love coaching these girls. It's a lot of fun!!! We are still undefeated- which is pretty cool. yeah- a big giant gush to my ego :wink: but it's cool for them. They play well together. They communicate, pass the ball nicely- and starting to dodge- and are over-all having a good time with this. I'm 'in'.. In for the long haul:)

My theme song lately-

2008-10-13T09:02:00.006-04:00

Ok- so I really am a Jack's Mannequin fan:) And I'm not the oldest one!! [my girlfriend wins that award!] Here's a young guy who: 1. plays the piano and 2. has survived cancer. He's quite the inspiration! he's pretty entertaining in concert and puts on a great show:) and why my crap is typing all F*cked up- is beyond me. i don't have time or the patience to figure you out- Mr. pre-programed blog.

seriously though-

2008-10-02T12:51:00.002-04:00

i'll elaborate later-- but seriously- if a goddamn piano is going to fall from the sky and kill me,

today will be the day!

between legal crap going on. Not knowing if I'm moving or staying, a major test tomorrow and a ton of grass to cut.

The mower was parked in the dilapidating 150 year old dirt-floor barn- in such a fucked up- hard to move matter.. it's moments such as those when I think: do men really have brains??? Finally get the damn thing out- after a series of impossible K-turns, to find-- Yeah- of coarse it needs gas-- duh??? naturally. Get to the very end of the driveway-- [now over a 5 minute or so walk from the barn] to realize- it has a flat tire.

Tomorrow is our Anniversary. Larry is leaving for Florida because very sadly his mom has just been given about 1-2 weeks to live. I know just by writing that- it makes shit like the flat-tire mower seem like ice cream sundae-- And I love his mom dearly- and my heart psychically aches for my husband-- But to roll back the clock to 16 years prior- to a woman who cursed our wedding and was totally against it.. This is going to sound like the most obnoxious thing anyone could ever write [other than wishing death on a person] so- I'm not even going to write it. The point is- I just always want Oct. 3rd to remember as our wedding anniversary- and nothing else. I never want to remember sadness on that day- only happiness. so let's just keep it at that.

Still doesn't fix the fucking mower and make the grass stop growing. October has been a real blast so far. Can't wait-- to see how the rest of the month pans out. yippee-fuckingdo.

blah!--

2008-10-01T15:20:00.003-04:00

life just seems yucky right now. I hate uncertainty more than anything. I think uncertainty has to be the worst emotion. blah to you- Mr. Uncertainty! You suck!

tests, trivial stuff and caffeine

2008-09-29T22:27:00.002-04:00

Today I was suppose to have been studying-- ALL DAY! It never works out that way. Tonight I had a big test in Psych. Tonight the little field hockey girls had a big Skills Competition. This is where they do different stations of skills/drills and earn points. Team with the most points win an ice cream party. We came in 4th:( oh well. They all ready earned an ice cream party though-- via ME. Yesterday we traveled to a different town to play- it's the feeder program for our biggest rival! I've heard from other teams that these little girls are pretty brutal! They've been playing since 1st grade vs. our 3rd grade starting age. Anyway-- it was a 0-0 game for us. The girls were awesome:) The other team-- not so awesome! Their coach was yucky and mean! Yelling, rude, ugly! And the girls pushed and were poor sports. I had to explain to my team the 2 types of aggressiveness. The good kind and the bad kind. We played with the good kind-- the other team, the bad kind!! Anyway- point is here-- when we were finished with the game, the 2nd team from our town failed to show. My team ended up staying and played a 2nd game. They're really awesome girls. So- that's the winning of the ice cream party:)

Today- while I should have been doing the studying bit-- I stopped to make some spirit hair ribbons for tonight's competition. My psych. test-- it wasn't so bad. I don't know?? At least a B. I'm hoping for an A. Tomorrow I should get back my Anatomy and Physiology exam. That's the one I can't wait to get back!! I'm really dying to see how I did. I have a big exam in Lab this Friday. This is like- little test week for Cris. School is 'okay' this semester. Usually I meet all kinds of cool, chatty people. So far- the best group of people are in Lab. I really get along with a lot of people in there. In A&P lecture- i do talk to the semi-weird girl next to me. She really doesn't talk much-- where I'm the opposite and talk to everyone/anyone! So that's not too bad. I use to joke with Larry and tell him about cute college guy that would always sit next to me. hmmm- some young hoe stole that seat! I call him kayak boy. He had a kayak on his eco-friendly car one morning... and dresses like he's right out of a REI or EMS catalogue. Okay by me! Just because I'm old enough to almost be his mom- i can still think he's cute, right??? I'm not going to get all Demi Moore on his ass or anything. My Psych. class- -that's just a whole different story! We're in groups-- don't ask. it's retarded. The people are kind-of anti-friendly. Granted, I'm so not close to being the oldest one in there-- but i still feel all old and stuff. There is the most annoying girl in that class. She really thinks she's something though. It's like: sweetheart-- this is college, night class, NOT a club- and really you should maybe give up french fries and pizza.. because you may :think: you look good in that little club shirt but ahh--- oh well:/ It's not so much HOW she looks that's annoying-- it's HOW she acts!!! She's just way too outspoken, rude, annoying, shutthefuckup.

I really have nothing worthwhile to write about. Sorry. My world is spinning around my kids right now and trying to do well in school. I feel like working on the new place has taken a back seat, which sucks. I don't have the energy to get over there. I have so much going on here. Larry's mom is not doing well- at all. Since he has left her bedside, she has greatly declined. They want to send her home and have hospices care for her. I never thought, in a million years, I'd have to plan a funeral with my husband at our ages of 38 and 37. Isn't this something you do when you're old? Friday is our 16 year anniversary.

Rain~Rain, stay all day....

2008-09-28T08:05:00.002-04:00

I'd love for a break and have some things cancelled/postponed!!!! This is from a non-rainy day- my little one at a game. We threw pinnies on our girls- because the opposite team, the colors were so darn close! We're having a really fun season with the little girls for hockey. Alex, well- her season is going great- maybe not so fun. She has to work/run/feel pain a lot more than the short kids:/

However-- today-- is Sunday. It's raining. I'm sick of running every stinking day of my life! I have a BIG test tomorrow night... I need to study for- big time. I have a big text for this coming Friday- i need to study for. I'd love nothing more than to be home today!!!! Anna has a game in a different town today. The whole ordeal will be about a 3.5 hour project. Travel time/ play time, etc. So far for her [which is also me, since I'm the coach] - it's been hockey 4 times this week. For Alex- it'll be hockey/related 7 times this week. Alex had 3 games, 3 practice and 1 pasta party. A break would be nice. So far- 8:13 am, no email about being cancelled-- and I need to leave here near 11. grrrrrr!!!wtf???

Larry is on his way- which is nice:) He's been in Florida since Tuesday am. His mom is not doing well- at all. He was able to spend a ton of time with her. He was at the hospital with her every day- until well after midnight. And even last night- he stayed most the night, then left for a 6am flight. She has pancreatic cancer- and it's very sad, I'm saying sad- because I'm kind of at a lost for words here. Which is hard to believe, me not having something to say.

The week, naturally flew by! We're still working on the 'new' house- so we can get moved in. I need to downsize so much! It's a pretty sad, overwhelming bit. there's this great auction place here, [well- really south of here] and I'm going to contact them about my dining room set. That's going! I'm not sure what I'm taking [what will fit] vs. what will go. I have quiet a few old paintings- I've bought in antique shops- stuff like that I don't have the heart to get rid of. It's coming with:) Antique chairs and tables- the same. I really don't want to part with them. I bought them all because something about them caught my heart. Ohh- i don't know. it'll be interesting. Point is: you can't fit the contents of a 5000 square foot house- into 2000 square feet. Does NOT work. This giant computer desk-- going!! I'm excited about downsizing- I just wish there was so much work involved in trying to sell things off, etc...

I'm done complaining. I need to figure out who is playing where and what today. I have a feeling they're not going to cancel. Last year we played in downpours. Why should this year be different?? Next week is a bit calmer- but Larry will be away again:( Wed. ->Friday. that's not so bad. Friday is our 16 year anniversary:) Last year- we went to Cape May for the weekend- and it was amazing to have zero plans, except dinner reservations for 2 nights. Oh well- maybe next year:)

play the song for me-

2008-09-21T10:55:00.002-04:00

this is my 'feel sorry for me moment'... play the violin song for me, bring out the tears and so forth-

Since September has began- my weeks look like this. Yeah- i'm pretty much fucking sick of it!

I'm not sure if I was dealt this deck of cards for September, or if I created it myself??? Between me going to school- trying to achieve good grades, coaching field hockey, attending field hockey games [for oldest], FINALLY picked for flippin' room mom -after trying 3 consecutive years in row! [it was just a matter of principle to put my name in this year-- thinking the little tyrant hierarchy queen of the 'we're still in high school' bitches is NOT going to pick me again- and sure enough I was picked!?? I'm not sure what uber cool thing I must have said/done to achieve this great liking of-- anyhow, i filled out the damn slip of paper only for the heart of my 4th grader, who really, really, really wanted her mom to be room-mom.] where am i??? Oh- the list of why my life is shitty stressful right now, feel sorry for me:( The whole

thing with the MOVING bit.

Moving- that's a whole different topic/subject/emotional matter right in it's own. I could try to sugar coat the whole thing and explain junk logically-- but what's logic? In plain black and white terms/language... it's as simple as: this house is our love affair, our dream. We have probably put about 300 thousand dollars into it- give or take?? When it came time to replace a radiator- I could spend up to three weeks- on the internet--finding the perfect one. Everything was well thought out, well decided upon. My husband did extremely well [in work/business]. Well- the financial state of America has changed... We had a business we had to shut down, life has changed. To live here- not including food, I mean mortgage, bushiness loan, OIL [$$$$], electric, cable and so on... it's an 11 thousand dollar venture- every flippin' month! That's just what comes out of the check book. That doesn't include the hours of yard work, grooming, maintenance, cleaning, and yes-- the violins are still playing. I hear them in the background. The point is- we have to move on... But what's so hard and upsetting and this is where the hankies come in... is not Knowing. The unknown. Will a family buy this home and love it as much as we do?? Will a builder buy it- sub-divide, knock it down and build some new ones??? Will it go to sheriff sale [we can stay floating for so long??] and then it could be vandalized , destroyed?? These are all the things that run through my head 24/7. This is why I'm in a rather emotional state. When people ask how I am, how is the moving coming-- I have no problem answering, " I'm in denial, I'm depressed, I'm in a 'state' , I'm rather numb".... that kind of sums it only. The joke it- it's only because of a house. Some plaster walls, so massive windows, 150 year old floor. A week after the cabinet maker did all cabinets for the kitchen, had them all fitted and level-- he removed them to paint them. He bought them back into the house and nothing was the same. Nothing fit- nothing was level, it was like he never did it properly in the first place! But he and I knew he did- we both saw with our own 2 eyes, how it all fit, was level, perfect. It was that moment when I told him- 'because this house breathes.. it's alive' I know it sounds really dumb, but you would really have to live here to appreciate it. To be able to make that statement. To have such an attachment and connection to a non-living thing, but yet it's very much alive. There is a certain energy here- where life is always twirling and spinning around you. So I think I do deserve to be sad, but in the same breathe- i have too much to do/accomplish and I need to function. This is the last time I'll feel sad, or speak of the sadness. Larry and I have had many up and downs in our life together. We have the ability to go into 'auto pilot' and move forward with what has to/ NEEDS to be done. He's been in auto pilot. At this very moment, I need to make the very conscious decision to join. I know there are WAY worst things in life- so much worst. I'm putting my belief into the hands of Karma- and know that good things will come:)

bad day Sept. 16

2008-09-17T09:16:00.004-04:00

So- yesterday was a really bad day. I mean- our house has been for sale for a week... we've known we were going to sell since July? No surprises. Yesterday- it just seemed to 'hit!' but what's weird is- it was almost an uncontrollable 'hit'? Just an uncontrollable sadness.

I felt as though [going to sound real dark and poetic here] but I honestly felt as though I had the weight of a thousand sad souls weighing me down yesterday. I was putting weeds/brush in the woods, cleaning up around the barn, just being outside. Every time i looked back to the house- I was just over come by sadness! I would cry and it was just a sad day. More so though- my chest felt super heavy. The same heavy feeling I use to get when every I had to go up to the 3rd floor- when we first moved here. The weight of a thousand sad souls- the best way to describe it.

So- [the point] last night- we were all out shooting some shots on Anna, while she was dressed to be a goalie, we took some photos. I was snapping away-- consecutive photos- so the lens is clean in all the others... Straight away- while the photos are being uploaded- we spot this one right away. That's one of the biggest orbs that have ever shown up in a photo here. [there is even an orb in one of our real estate listing photos- the realtor took! on realtor.com] However- seeing that photo- and it being near the wind chime that will sing for me on the calmest of days-- only makes me think. The thing seems massive compared to other things we've seen in past photos-- it looks like it's carrying the weight and sadness of a thousand lost souls...

You think???

2008-09-17T09:12:00.005-04:00

"Stuart will host Shawnee HS on Fri. This is the first time both teams have met. Shawnee is traditionally one of the strongest teams in the state. It should be a terrific field hockey game.....

The Stuart varsity and JV field hockey teams will be hosting Shawnee tomorrow (9/12). This will be a great field hockey game between two of the best teams in the state of NJ. We strongly encourage you to come out and support the Stuart team. You will see some impressive field hockey!"

Shawnee won.

And I thought I was going to die here--

2008-09-12T11:15:00.005-04:00

very long title-- i know.

Anyone reading....

family, friend, foe,

a whole mixed bags of feelings here.. our house is for sale. i don't have time to

really elaborate on the whole thing. Emotions, feelings, thoughts, memories, etc...

later on i will.

Hoping for someone who will love this house as much as we do. Time for a new 'keeper'

Can be viewed here-

the Last Hurrah!

2008-08-11T08:53:00.005-04:00

Out of all our 'summer beach photos' these are really a few of the only 'kind' ones. In most of the photos everyone is making some obnoxious face- gesture- or just looks really bad. This week is the last hurrah-- when we will be down there the most, before all the joys of the coming school year begin. I'm going to make sure i bring a camera and get some great photos that capture the good times spent. My niece has this great waterproof digital camera.. that will come in to handy this week!! Anyway~ the bay, nearing sunset. The street we stay on is really short- so i can literally sit on the front porch and see this off to the right, while the ocean is 6 houses to the left. However, this is one of the few days we decided to walk down to the bay dock and Sit. Wait. Watch. We really do take things for granted~ every day normal occurrences.

The beach at night~ still one of my favorite places. The sand is all cool, the ocean sounds louder than normal- everything is calm, still and crashing like thunder- all at once. It's like, in the darkness, your senses can't make up their mind-- it seems quiet, but in reality it's so loud- you can get lost in the noise. The girls found a hole, and yeah- this is as normal as it gets for them- in a photo pose.

Our resident photographer~ Jess- and sidekick [aspiring to be just like Jess] Anna. Thinking of all the noise and confusion and craziness from the girls- I can't wait to get down to that really small place this week. The last free week of summer:( The Last Hurrah-

Forgotten Love-

2008-08-02T11:08:00.005-04:00

yeah- apart from the fact: I look like a dork!!!

I was on the ol' elliptical this morning, iPod on shuffle and Polaris came on- and well, I guess

it was just nice to be reminded of how much I love these guys:)

Polaris~ Jimmy Eat World

I'll say it straight and plain
I know I've made mistakes
I've always been afraid
I've always been afraid

A thousand nights or more
I travel east and north
Please answer the door

Can you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

Get down on your knees
Whisper what I need
Something pretty
Something pretty

I feel that when I'm old
I'll look at you and know
The world was beautiful

Then you tell me...
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

I'm done, there's nothing left to show
I try but can't let it go
Are you happy where you're standing still?
Do you really want the sugar pill?
I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start
Tonight it feels so hard
As the train approaches Gare Du Nord
As I'm sure your kiss remains employed
Am I only dreaming?

You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

on that note: i think i'll go on youtube- and look up Jimmy Eat World: 23. I've seen it played a few amazing times- and i can never get bored of that one:)

Look what the dogs found--

2008-07-24T22:31:00.002-04:00

So- a few Sunday Mornings ago, Lucy and Chloe dog found one of these little guys in the yard. The Grey with White face. The other little grey one, we found on the other side of the fence, in the woods. Naturally- he had to climb 20 feet up the nearest tree so that Larry had to rescue him via ladder. They've been living here for a few weeks. Socialized now, friends with the Cats, friends with the Dogs. I need to find them a permanent home. Lord knows... I have 6 cats, 3 dogs-- I'm filled to capacity Animals out number Humans here!

My Lifeguard

2008-07-24T22:19:00.002-04:00

My Lifeguard, Jack. Looking completely smitten with the job of keeping watch, sunning, and looking cool! Always on the look out for a stray tennis ball or really any old floating object in the pool, which he will no doubt retrieve to safety.

When not keeping post, as lifeguard, he can be found sitting in the cool waters waiting for friends. When things get too hot- he'll take a nice little lap around the pool, then come back to his favorite step to sit and rest. I love Jack!

Here- but not here....

2008-06-12T16:37:00.004-04:00

Today- I've started to paint the doors-- the storm doors and side lights that is. The actual front doors will be stained. The doors are finally back on the house, after 22 years of doing the deed as the 'Mens and Ladies Room' doors-- when our home was a restaurant. In the fall, they were able to resume their position as 'official welcome wagon' but they have yet to be stained. The storm/screen doors though... are another story all together. Those I had made by a local woodworker and they suit the house just perfectly:) We kind of worked on the design together- but ultimately they are his doing. He kind of surprised me, with the finished product-- which I love. The trim and sidelights will be white, the storms black and then the actual front doors- stained natural. The photo below- what I think is completely odd- I took a series of photos when I took the below one. A few of the doors, the gardens, etc.... Clear, perfectly dry, sunny day. Just in this one [below] - the orb. Every one has different opinions of orbs.... As I have my own. I just think it's rather ironic how it's there, in only one photo- as if to be checking out the work in progress. Watching as the house is transformed back into what it once served as--> as home. Call me crazy BUT-----

Anyhow-- The man who built the doors can be found here: http://www.victorianaeast.com/

Besides that- school is about out for one [tomorrow]= and then next Thursday in the final day for the other. Lacrosse is done with, basketball is done with. I'm taking a summer college class, which is not as fun as I thought it would be. That too- is about finish. Only 3 classes left.

We have moved our things to LBI, to the tiny summer rental- and are waiting patiently for the ocean to warm up a bit. I have so much yard work- it's not even funny. There are times I really picture just moving back to LBI- where it was pretty simply, way more manageable. But then- i don't know... to be outside at our house- at night- it's really magical. I know that may sound pretty silly- but it truly is. I really can't explain it, you just have to Feel it. Granted, I would never move and change schools- until both of my girls are finished with High School. We're in one of the top High Schools for Field Hockey and Lacrosse-- and yes, academics.

Hold on tight- summer is here and it's going to be a fun ride:)

Aerating~ the creative way....

2008-05-09T10:08:00.003-04:00

So- my dad is like 'the Grass King'. When we were kids- you didn't set up a slip n' slide on the lawn. There were no kiddie pools on the grass, no picnics, no sunbathing. All of these activities would cover an area of 'the grass' and this could cause death.. or the grass would be matted down or it could cause a brown spot. Yup... sweet childhood memories.

I'd like to think of myself as having an awesome green-thumb when it comes to shrubbery and flowers, not so much grass. However-- this is 'the year of the grass'! For the first time since living here- I've aerated, seeded and fertilized. This is a photo of the two of us trying to aerate and area that use to be the original driveway. The dirt is rather compacted with lots of gravely rocks in the mix. It was hard to make a tiny mark in it- with bricks on the aerator. So-- I jokingly suggested that I could stand on the back. And that's just what I did for the next 20 minutes. Stood on the back while my dad drove it around. The aerator is the best!! I found it in the woods-- cleaned it up, hooked it up to the mower and look at me now Ma!

Besides that bit- School is done. Summer session begins May 19th. I go twice a week- only for 5 weeks.

We attended a wedding this past weekend. Larry's old fraternity brother/best man in our wedding/ best friend. it was an amazingly good time! One of those moments when you hear teens today saying: 'good times...good times....' yup- it was one of those moments. Now I know how that whole 'good times...' thing feels.

The cherry trees bloomed and are done. The dogwoods bloomed- and are losing flowers now. The PJM rhododendron all bloomed and were pink! The azaleas are all bloomed and amazing!! The 'normal' rhododendron are all about to pop! Iris are all standing proud, ready to show their stuff. Peonies are about 3 days away from slowly opening. And finally - the hydrangeas are gathering leaves and getting ready for a big showy summer.

I'm completely re-working this whole big area in the front of our house. Tearing out some ugly over-grown wild honeysuckle. Saving and transplanting some green shrubbery. Putting in some common lilacs and Miss Canada's. Moving a dogwood over there. A bunch of stuff. I've been out there working my butt off!!! Today- a big rainy day [needed!] so it's catch up day. Laundry, clean the bathrooms, make dinner. I'm going to hit the ol' exercise bit now.

Larry's mom is doing as well, as expected:) This is good news.

Lacrosse is in full swing and a field hockey tournament tomorrow at Drexel university. Oh- and then the Cure concert tomorrow night. That's life in a nutshell.

April Showers~ Bring May Flowers

2008-04-27T21:49:00.002-04:00

As cheesy and corny as the above saying is... it's true. I haven't been on the computer much- at all. Result- no new posts, keeping up on emails, news, in touch with friends, etc. When it's a great day [weather wise] outside- I try to finish up 'inside' stuff as quick as possible. Laundry started, beds made, downstairs vacuumed. There are the suck-ass mornings when I do vacuum the stairs- which might not sound like a big deal, but it really blows. 38 steps from first floor to third. Then 3 additional sets of 'back' stairs. Yeah- that's a little bit of a time-blower. But the point is- there's plenty to do outdoors- and that is where my heart can't wait to be!

This is the year Anna and I decided we would outline the whole front landscape with flowers. We pass a similar idea in a neighboring town. Every summer when we see the 'flower lady's ' house- we always say: " Next year we'll do that!!! " And this is finally the 'next year'. We started working on that. I need to get some mulch in some back area's first- though. Helps with weed control. I've bought another shasta daisy, a fill in for a spot along the fence, in the yard. There area bunch there- and I'd like to extend it a bit longer. Next year- I'll be thinning them out. Some hanging baskets that I'll re-pot into big planter or urns. And 2 lilacs. A common purple one- and a pink one: 'Miss Canada'. Originally they were slated for the yard- but instead they will be getting a new home in the front. I have this area in the front that is a mess! It's overgrown with bad looking forsythia and some green hedge. I'm not a huge forsythia fan. The green hedge, what's healthy looking is getting a good trim! We were able to totally save a whole group of green hedge on the side here. I should take a photo- they're great look, compared to a few years ago:) But anyway- the area in talks: where the lilacs will live- it's a large area. I'm going to re-do it to mimic the opposite side of the yard. It will include the English walnut tree and a lamp post. How's that for starters. A dogwood is being moved over there. I have a lot of dogwoods! The sad news is, they were planted young- under way too many mature trees. Now they have no where to grow- and aren't thriving. A few are, they're planted in great spots- but others need to be moved. So- a dogwood, some lilacs, a pink hydrangea and some lilies. I'll take before and after photos- don't worry. The only thing that makes me sad about tearing out some bad overgrown forsythia are the 2 bunnies calling it home- and the ground hog. They can just move across the grass to the other bushes though.

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This will be the bits n' piece post.

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Larry is currently in Florida. His mom is sick:( Like- sick. We knew they were testing for cancer. We knew she had cancer. We just did not know what type of cancer. She would act like she was 'waiting for results'.. when she knew and didn't want to spill. She's been in the hospital for a while. She is now home, Larry is there- and she has pancreatic cancer. Not a very good thing, at all. He's there- spending time with her. I think a family road-trip is coming about.

We're all thinking good things. Good thoughts. Keeping a positive face:)

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Every time Larry is away- shit luck always is going on here. The sewer pump mess, me nursing a litter of 3 week kittens- ever few hours with bottles, dogs finding snake, dogs finding turtle, dogs doing bad things, someone 'talking to me' in the night and the TV going on, random stuff. Oh- which I just remember yesterday-- something weird. I closed the door on the mudroom. First a screen door- then a 9 lite- wood door. I shut it. The door itself- is a bit hard to open, and you really need to pull it- to open it 3/4 of the way. it won't open all the way-- the floor is warped. If we were to shave the door- to open all the way- then once closed, there'd be a huge gap! anyway- the door is a bugger to open. So- it's closed. It was cold and rainy to boot. I go into the kitchen- and clear as day, that door swwwoooop--- opens as if I just pulled it open, and dragged it across the floor, where it's hard to open it. So yes- it was freaky as shit to have the door open by itself. I closed it, again.

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Again- when Larry is away- crap happens. So tonight- everyone feed, it's kind of early- seems like a calm, maybe-get-to-bed-early kind of night. The dogs want to go out. They have to be watched, like hawks. They are escape artists at heart. I don't need that tonight! So- Anna puts the dogs out. They bark at something-- I think squirrel. Then Anna checks is like [rather calmly- which freaks me out!] "The dogs are eating a rabbit" -- WHAT?? I check- and the three of them have a ground hog surrounded- all of them circling this poor mangy looking thing in the middle. The next events all take place in seconds- but it's one of those 'slow motion' moments in the world. I run out there- yell at dogs to move..yeah, like they hear me. I run back in- while calling for Alex to come help, I'm grabbing 2 brooms. Run out there. Try to move dogs along with brooms- try to get ground hog to run somewhere? anywhere but where he is. While all of this is going on- I'm also yelling [here and there] at Alex. You see, I forgot about Alex. In a panic situation- she's the worst!!! You don't want her on her end of the boat, when it's sinking. She goes into pure 150% panic mode. Frantic panic mode. The kind of frantic-panic where you truly feel the need to just grab her, shake a bit of sense into her-- she won't respond, so you want to just bitch-slap her: 'get a hold of yourself!' I'm doing the whole: dogs! In the house! bit-- and in between: Alex!!! You have got to calmDown! Stop Screaming! Alex-!!! control yourself! DOGS!!! get in the house!!!! so on... our yard sounds like a murder is taking place. The ground hog runs under a deck in the yard. The dogs-- being dogs, chase it. They all stick their heads under the deck. Chloe can get under there-- so I'm especially after her via broom- to get into the house. I don't need a dog/ground hog brawl taking place under the deck. Naturally it's Lucy. It's always Lucy. She comes backing away from the deck with the mangy looking ground hog attached to her face. Oh god-- why me. Why is this happening. We're all screaming, Alex is covering her eyes.. the ground hog is attached to Lucy's face- and I'm thinking... rabies. Finally- the mangy thing runs for cover [again!] under the deck and we manage to get the dogs in. I see blood. Part of me is thinking: half her tongue is missing. Shit- i don't want to deal with this. I don't want to see half a tongue or have my dog bleed to death. Try the vet at home, no answer. Call mom- can you come over, I may have to go to the vet. [my mom lives close and lives for crisis!!! Flippin' lives for this kind of mess!] My vet emergency recommends University of Penn. I don't want to haul butt here. Call neighboring town vet- they recommend a local place, I always forget about. Realistically- I should have their number on speed-dial. I check out the wound in question. It appears to be the nose. The nostril is bleeding. why me, again. I chat with the nice lady at the emergency animal place. If it's still bleeding with in 15 or more minutes bring her in... BUT definitely bring her to the doctors tomorrow to get some antibiotic into her. After some pressure and a good cleaning - the nose stopped bleeding. Tomorrow the vet for some meds. $$$$ My life is rarely dull.

M.I.A. from the indoor scene...

2008-04-17T11:09:00.002-04:00

I haven't had much computer time. I haven't emailed people- blogged- read news- cook dinners-wanting to do school work. Spring is here- lots to do!

John and I have been very busy lately. [this photo is from last year- however, he still looks the same]

Still here-

2008-04-08T10:56:00.003-04:00

I'm still here- just not 'here'. it seems to be major test-time for school. It's that time in school when you thought you were really 'on it'... and then you just have this WTF?!!! moment- where you feel like you know jackshit! I'm having one of those moments- this week. This whole week as a matter of fact:) 'This too- shall pass.' Wasn't that written somewhere/someplace? I just haven't a clue where- right now. BUT- if you need me to do a stoichiometry problem-- well I'm all over that shite.... yeah!!

Besides that- my Alex turned 15 this past week. for me- that's just crazy! It all goes by so super fast. I'm starting to sound like an old person- I'm going to soon start complaining about the price of milk. But heck yeah! it is expensive. Anyway- i've been doing the parent-gig for 15 years now. I'm pretty confident to say I have 2 really amazing, intelligent and conscientious young girls. Not all my doing- trust me! Just the people they are turning out to be:)

By Golly, Ms. Molly-

2008-03-31T13:56:00.002-04:00

There is a light at the end of the tunnel! There is all most an end to all the painting -with in this home. We worked on the 3rd floor stair well this past weekend. Larry is always so excited when I randomly decide to do stuff like this. It was Friday night- and I asked him if he could grab the 10 footer [ladder] from the basement. Sure-- no questions asked. I asked him to please put it up on the landing. Next thing you know- I have the Dif- I'm spraying walls- removing wall paper paste. Wiping down walls, scraping/priming molding. Saturday- it was all about the oil-based primer [which sucks!] and painting the ceiling. Sunday- edging, I AM Queen Edger, just in case people were unaware of that. I take great pride in my edging abilities. There was small section [2nd photo] I let Larry take care of. I hate that funky ladder- suspended over the stairs in a scary like fashion. I do have a fear of heights- so being at the top of a 12 foot ceiling- sucks for me. Being able to look straight down- through the banister, to the 1st floor- from the 3rd- double sucks when you have a fear of heights.

I really have height issues. I know it sounds corny- but even the first time I snorkeled- it was in Maui, in amazing water :sigh: i'd love to be there now. But seriously- I had a really hard time at first, seeing the different levels of the sea's floor. With cliffs and rocks and different heights. Realizing the sea floor was like 60 feet below [we were kayaking- then snorkeled] This freaked the piss out of me!! At one point on the trip- we rented a boat and went to this crater to snorkel. I had to jump in deep water- to look for an under-water anchor, to tie the boat on to. Talk about having to get over a fear- quickly. The point is- I have this thing with heights. It sucks. But that 10 foot ladder is my best friend. It's been with me to paint many rooms, many crown moldings. Hang Christmas garlands outside. I still feel uncomfortable around heights- but a girls gotta do- what a girls gotta do!

I'll post the final stairwell photo later. :) I only have a bit of this hallway left to paint. Some 'popc0rn' ceiling to scrub smooth- ceiling to paint, walls to fix- Painting will be done. There is an end to the beginning- "the end is the beginning is the end" that's a Pumpkins song = and yeah, that doesn't even make sense to me.

Going out with a BANG!!!!

2008-03-31T13:52:00.002-04:00

So- most of the trails had snow. The sides of the mountain were bare- but the good trails had snow:) Larry and the girls went snowboarding for the last time, of the season. I think life is easier to sum up in photos, right now. More colorful.

breakfast of champions!

2008-03-26T08:42:00.001-04:00

when you start a day with little Hello Kitty head waffles-- you can conquer the world!!!!

Diet Breaker!

2008-03-24T13:21:00.003-04:00

CARROT CAKE

2 1/4 C. sifted flour

2 tsp. baking powder

1 1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

2 tsp. cinnamon

2 c. sugar

1 1/4 c. oil

4 eggs

2 c. grated carrots

1 (8 1/2 oz.) can crushed and drained pineapple

2/3 c. chopped nuts (I use walnuts and pecans, mixed)

1 c. shredded coconut

Shift dry ingredients. Add sugar, oil and eggs. Mix well. Add carrots, pineapple, nuts and coconut. Blend thoroughly. Bake in 3 - 9"pans, round or square, greased and floured.

Bake at 350* for 45-60 minutes. Cool on racks.

Icing

1/2 c. butter

1 tsp. vanilla

8oz. cream cheese

2 c. powder sugar

combine butter and cream cheese- until creamy. Add vanilla, then sugar- slowly. Beat well-

until light and fluffy.

** I bump-up everything a bit- to make more icing. 3/4 c. butter, 12 oz. cream cheese, 3 c. powder sugar, some vanilla. I like icing:)

Refrigerate this cake. This cake is always so much more amazing the next day!

long, long ago- in a far away world~

2008-03-20T08:45:00.003-04:00

...there stood a very scary house. Rumors and mysteries it stirred up, stories and tales of the evil and unknown.

Okay- not really. I mean, yeah- all kinds of stuff has been said about our house. It has always been known, in our Town, as 'The Haunted House'. When I was a little a girl, there was this old white house, that sat about 10 blocks from my house. My grandfather would always tell my sisters and me, 'Casper, the friendly Ghost, lives there.' We believed him- hellsyeah, because we were like 7- riding in the back seat, going some where adventurous. It was always an adventure with Gramp. No seat belts- because they weren't really 'the thing' in 1977, so you know... sitting in the middle- feet on the 'hump', holding onto the head rests- peering through the front windshield.

When Casper's house was torn down- I had to be near High School?? We were sad:( It was Casper's house. A part of our youth, our innocents, us holding onto everything my Grandfather said as being gospel. I miss my grandfather terribly. If he were around today- he would fix all the broken chains and weights in my windows. He's make the banister shine with such gleam- you'd wish you had sunglasses on. None of the doors would squeak and all the windows would open smoothly. He may have been a stubborn man in his ways- but he was a gentle soul when it came to us grandkids. Taking us to the movies when we were young. Going on long walks with our dog- down in the woods. Giving us rides ANYWHERE- when we were teenagers. 'Lending' us money, I guess it's not really a loan when you know you don't really need to pay it back. I have lots of sweet memories- and I wished more than anything that I had asked way more questions about his life, his past, his memories. One more wish- that I had a photo of Casper's house.

The above photo was taken of our house- we're not sure when? Perhaps the 70's? it's hard to know. I do have one from the late 1800's. Not the clearest thing- I just don't know how to work our scanner. I know that sounds really dumb- but I don't. When I do- it'll be here.

It's NO Crap!

2008-03-13T13:15:00.003-04:00

Okay- so my horoscope in US Magazine- of all places.... The one where Heidi talks about being betrayed by Spencer~ You know, Heidi- new singing sensation.... :cough: yeah-- anyway.... My Horoscope:

An unexpected expense makes you anxious. Take care of your finances before they're a problem. (Sugar daddy Pluto could land you a loan or extra gig on the 14th) Your social life is surprisingly flush and helps take your mind off money matters.

OKAY-- so the basement smells like either : death or sewerage. Larry couldn't find anything dead down there [I'm still not 100% convinced...] The holding tank for our sewerage was all full- blockage? problem? We have the tank cleaned out= $219. Water is flowing nicely from home-to-holding tank. [which- btw, in out in the front yard- but you wouldn't know.... it's a concrete slab w/ a pretty bird bath on it] Anyway~ problem solved??!!!! I think not. The pumps haven't been going on- so we check out the holding tank again [2 days after the cleaning] it's totally full. WTF? Must be a blockage some where between the tank- and the street. Okay- let me just say- the drive way is over 800 feet. The sewer line has to be about 1100 feet of so-- how it goes this way- that way- straight down the drive- that way- then to the street. The lines are being flushed as I write. $950. thankgod my parents are my Sugar Daddy Pluto are are leading me the money$$$. I'm broke poor right now, no lie. friggin' blows! Shit Happens- literally. I'm praying [and I don't even pray- or believe in that whole biz..] praying that this does the job. This is the problem. When it's all said and done- the pumps will work properly, the tank will empty out.. the smell will disappear. I still think something is dead though. I have a pretty good nose for Death.

Cheesy- but Easy!

2008-03-11T08:52:00.002-04:00

I know it might seem lame- to do way more photo's than words--- but didn't someone once say: 'A picture is worth a thousand words' ??? For lack of time- lack of motivation- lack of thinking- sometimes it's just easier to have photos sum up the week. My niece turned 21! [see photo below] I can't believe it. Now I feel old. Old in the sense- I remember her clearly as a little squeaky-voiced 4 year old, who I would take shopping. I'd pick her up in my red jeep, boy- she LOVED that! We'd go clothes shopping, apple picking, to the beach. Stuff. Now she's a loud-voiced 21 year old. The other difference, I pick her up in a black Mom-SUV, we still shop for clothes. We even do the apple picking, the beach and stuff. I just have more lines around my eyes and stuff.

The essential b-day cake w/ little 'beer-bottle' candles, for the big 2.1.
We couldn't make the family birthday party- so we had our own. Larry was given 4 tickets for the Sixer's game- so we took advantage of them. Okay- the seats were Guam-like- BUT they were right on the center court line. Seemed far up- but had a nice view of the whole scene.
NO- those aren't ants, silly! They're real live over-paid NBA boys. 76'ers totally won- I don't follow basketball. I use to. Naturally- when I was accepted at UNLV- and it was going into the year they won the championship-- sure I watched a few games. Even went to an UNLV game- while in Vegas. But besides that- which was many moons ag0- meaning like: 1989-90??? I don't really watch sports.
Not much else. Yesterday, while I was entering the post office parking lot- another truck was leaving. I look at drivers, people and stuff. I'm aware of my surroundings. Anyway-- Oh my! Not sure where this human came from- but driving was one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen! Yes- people, I'm happily married- but that doesn't mean beautiful people don't exist. That's all-- I have class today. I had a week break- which I thought wouldn't be a big-deal- but I really enjoyed it. Not thinking of goof-ball chemistry and such.

Weekend in Pictures--

2008-03-05T09:43:00.003-05:00

Finished Anna's Diorama for school. Ok- I helped, by sewing the little outfit on Libby.
Alex with her new snowboard. Very Happy:) she got to try it out on Sunday. Hopes to get a few more runs in- before the season is over.

Anna had her last basketball game. awww- the final score was 12-14. They lost:( but had a great season. She's now onto lacrosse- and this other competitive basketball league. sports, sports and more sports. We'll have a busy Spring!

Moved Larry's office to the Attic room. WHY?? is this underlining- and I can't seem to turn it off. f-u blogger!!!!

Got all the Valentines stuff put away- and started to get out the spring/Easter stuff. Seems early- but my daffodils are all popping up!

the gym

2008-02-28T10:37:00.002-05:00

So- this is the home gym- aka: mudroom, aka: sports area: aka: hats/scarfs/mittens area, aka: place to store dog leases, bird food, Anna's scooter. Get the picture. It's actually one of my most favorite rooms in the house, solely based on 'feeling' vs. 'function'. Don't get me wrong, it's totally a functional room- it's a 6.5 foot wide x 15 foot long spot to house all kinds of things, stuff, hockey sticks, sidewalk chalk, bird food, muddy garden boots, umbrellas, and so on. BUT- the room has this very calm and relaxing feeling to it. The walls are a soft cream [philadelphia cream, to be exact!] with a bright white for trim, windows and doors. The ceiling- is a color I used in the upstairs bathroom= that I love. It's called Seaspray, and it reminds you just of that. The sea. I always mix it up- and call it: Sea Glass, because somehow this seems more fitting. Once- after a treadmill mishap- as I was laying on my back, on the floor- after being catapulted from the treadmill- just laying there.... partly in shock, partly in pain....this is when I noticed how super calming this room was. It was all about the ceiling. Just staring up, admiring wide plank wood, the calming color, hoping the light wasn't going to come crashing down on me next. It was a pretty magical moment in time. Clearly- the only thing that would make the mudroom/home gym a million times better would be the Nordic Track C2500 Treadmill!!! Yes- this would greatly improve the whole room, the atmosphere, the look-feel of the place:) Oh well... I picture us buying a log-splitter before a new treadmill were to ever come about. Mine still rolls, just doesn't keep track of speed, time or distance. There could be worst things in life, this I know- but a girl can still dream about the lovely treadmill that is i-pod happy:) and has speakers and a fan : ahhhhhh!!!!

Eclipse by Jess

2008-02-24T08:26:00.005-05:00

This was taken by my niece- Jess. nice work:)

With the moon in thought: a big harvest moon will make me stop dead in my tracks. Pull the car over- to stare, run down to the beach- to see [when we use to live there or spend many fall weekends:( something I miss]. Even as a beer-drinking, parting college girl- I remember showing up at the BF apartment, running in and making everyone run out.... all to stand and stare at the same harvest moon. For the folks who seemed really less-impressed with it, than I did- I was clearly certain that somehow they were not seeing the same moon. The one right up there in the ol' sky, staring down at us, watching over us like a night-time guardian with the promise of wishes coming true and dreams becoming reality.

Dreamers smile more:)

More from our ONE and ONLY ....

2008-02-22T11:11:00.004-05:00

This has seen 150+ years of snow and sun

A very 'happening' spot at our house- the Feeder! [i felt bad- scaring them off to take this.

Larry's tracks- he has work on snow days :(

The very best part of the driveway ~ during snow or ice

IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!

2008-02-22T11:02:00.004-05:00

Jack dog- loves the snow:)

Lucy [lu-lu] looks like a new puppy- recently groomed

The ladies having fun! [it's pre-9am!]

Me with my Lu-Lu

chicken-crawl Chloe looks like she's catching snowflakes:)

something so small is always so big-

2008-02-15T09:55:00.005-05:00

Empty computer room- waiting to have the floors re-finished. I'm pretty sure the dogs are wondering 'where the hell did I put the couch?'

The 'empty-furniture-less' hall- with it's million of scratches.

What seems too good to be true- usually is just that: 'seems'. A simple project- never remains simple, in this home. I'm sure in every house- actually.

The floors, which we had refinished in 2005, are in horrid shape- in the main run: hall, computer room kitchen. Mainly- due to 230lbs of dog[s] who will race each other to the front door, whenever they suspect someone/something may be on the other side. All kinds of things qualitfy here: squirrels, noices, wind, mail lady, get the picture. Being the floors are old... and super soft pine, well- they now look like shit. Heard about Mr. Sandless- [again- too good to be true] had them out for a consultation, seemed great- set it up. When the re-finishers came out [this is after clearing all 3 area's of all funiture- including Mr. Mac, so i'm on Alex's laptop- which I don't do well typing on laptops- and it seems really dumb to close windows with the red X on the right side. I've really have gotten use to using a mac] Re-finishers asked if the consultant- we'll call him: Dan, because that's his name.. If Dan did this water-test. The chemicals they use are water based vs. old-fashion oil-based. No- of coarse Dan didn't do the water test- or write 'satain finish' on the order form, because since when has someone actually have totally and competently completed something correctly when it comes to me: trying to conduct business, to have a project worked on in this house?

If there is one thing I hate most about the human race and human workfoce in this world it would have to be: laziness and stupidness. They seem to go hand-in-hand. I get really pissed off about Human error, as well. I'm the last to admitt I'm perfect, but when you have a simple job- with a friggin' check-list, how can you forget anything? I've worked 9-5er's.. that would classify any type of 'shift-work'... you work 9-5, 8-4, 1-5, etc.. Come- greet your work at the door, get a little lunch break, clock hits 'finishing time' [with the fred flinstone whistle sounding in the backgroud] and you leave your job, at the door. These are kind-of no-brainers. You go, do your work, leave. So- bitching about that crap- ??? = lazy. All through my marriage, I've been accustomed to the : job that follows you, even on vacation. You have to acutally WORK to make $$$, to get $$$, to be paid $$$. Sometimes you're done work at 5:30, sometimes you have to work until 11pm. Ok- just realized I got a bit off subject here... ...

The point- If Dan would have done his job correctly, we could have found out that Mr. Sandless, water-based products would not work well on our floors. We could have found this all out BEFORE we cleared 3 rooms of furniture. Now that we have these empty rooms, with the shitty-looking floors we were thinking: 'when's the next time we'll really want to move all this furniture out of here again???' Which brought on the : 'we'll do the floors ourselves.'. Why I thought I'd be able to pay someone $600, to come, complete my floors in one days time, everything look perfect and furniture back, etc... Well- I have no clue why I thought such a crazy thing.
With us renting the stuff- [as we have], buying the special polyurethane, etc.. and such- well- naturally $600 would have been a sweet dream come true. minwax- at your local home depot- only has a voc of 350. The stuff that is currently on our floors [Harco] has a voc of 450, we need that, there goes the easiness of the home depot trip. Thankfully a distrubtor is going to sell it to us- since we're not professional floor re-finishers. Although- I'll claim to be one, when this is all done. But Harco does make a 'gym coat' product, with even a higher voc. We'll inquire about that- so this may all end up being good and worth it- and the floors will be better than last time:) It's just this is the last thing that I really thought we'd be doing again. and now. and whatnot.

obviously~ I'm just bitchy. I need to hit the treadmill and I'm going to work on the hall ceiling. A small area that was done in 'popcorn style' yay!no. I've been removing it: via hot water, bucket and rag. I just want to get the inside finished. This would include this hall ceiling and painting the hall/stairwell to the attic. Really- it's not a TON of work- just some work the requires some skim-coating, and Larry's help with the ladder. I frankly have no effin' clue how I'm going to work in this certain area, how to postion the ladder. Yeah- it's a bendy one and all that. It's just hard to explain. The ceiling on the landing, itself, is 12 ft. high. But I have a landing- to put the ladder on. Just not a huge one- so this sucks, because you're very 'straight-up' when you're working. The acutally 'stairs' part, I need to figure out. Downstairs- we had floor, to lean the ladder across and such--- here, no flood to the side, just more steps going down. I mean- it had wallpaper there- so it can be done. It's just figuring it all out, w/out renting scaffeling equipment. Again-= ranting, bitching, complaining..

I"m acutally going to run tonight- shower now. Hall- work on it, figure it out. School work stuff... When Larry gets home [work] the floor nightmare will begin/continue. By next week- I hope to have great floors, in those 3 rooms. I still have yard work I'd like to finish up. I still love you house:) You still facinate me and make me smile:) it's all good...

why the schooling?

2008-02-12T14:29:00.000-05:00

school= because I need a 'real' job- one that pays $$. I want a ceiling like this.. I really do :sigh:

I would go with different colors [all ready picked out]. These corners [eastlake corners, pattern: liberty bird] are a replica of the real-deal. Stuff like that gives me goose bumps!!! I truly am a dork, but I'm cool w/ that. There are 5 different papers going on up there ^ that there ceiling. We stayed in a B & B that had 18 different papers to create the pattern on their foyer ceiling. I have awesome crown moldings- this would look killer with those!!!!

hence: the school, to get the job. Larry look at this photo and just saw $$$price tags$$$. I'd estimate the above to be a 1500-2000 job, buying the paper. Naturally, I do my own work:) so think of the savings right there!! Half the fun of all these projects are doing the work yourself. The pride, the patience, the cursing. My lab starts in 45 minutes... gotta go=school.

praying to the Snow-Gods-

2008-02-12T09:09:00.000-05:00

This was a week ago-- little flowers coming up due to freakishly warm weather. Actually.... freakishly warm for like February 1989, in the past few years has seemed like 'normal' February weather- for it to be 50 degrees or something. Not saying I agree with it- or like it but it has helped me to get an early start on some yard clean-up chores.

However- the last few days have been 'normal' ~old school~ February days. When I drove Anna to the bus stop, and yes I did drive her because it was hellyeah cold out!- anyway, it was 14 degrees. [11 when Alex left]. Now this morning- it was 22 out, when I took Alex to her stop at a glorious 6:30 am. The really cool thing I've noticed [at 6:30am] it was light out:) I could see:) Usually it's pitch dark, yucky, still wanting to be in bed darkness. Spring is coming!!!

However [again] it still is February- and yes, I'm wishing, hoping, thinking SNOW. it's a snow sky out there... but I don't know. There's only a slight chance [it'll be more north-west of us]- but those weather guys are hardly correct, so you see: there is hope for us.

Not too much else of interest going on~ same old/same old. I took the N.E.T. on Saturday, the nursing entry test. God- I was like a nervous little kid taking the S.A.T.'s. Except I clearly remember taking the S.A.T.'s and the fact that there was this amazing blue sky outside, and the bigger fact that I was leaving for the beach after the S.A.T.'s. Yeah- I didn't do so hot. I wasn't exactly the 'scholar' in my youth. Not even sure I'm such the perfect example of a 'scholar' now. I'm still way last minute, taking it serious -the day of class, instead of reading, reading, reading all week long. But back to the N.E.T.'s. I had to be there 7:30 am. I got up early, [i need to be showered and 'dressed/makeup' to feel functional] I studied some, arrived on time, registered, had my 2 #2 pencils. Math was first, [thankyou]- felt confident about that. Honestly there was 1 problem I guessed on, the others I [hope] nailed. [sometimes over-confidence screws the piss out of you!!] Reading comprehension, hopefully I did 'ok'. Why do they always have some boring-ass story? English- I instantly felt retarded and started second guessing proper sentence structures. 2 of the 4 choices would instantly sound 'correct'. [I hate you Mr. 'test-maker' man. You do that crap on purpose, I had assessment at Temple Univ. all about 'testmaking'] BUT- it's done, I'm dying for my results.

that's all folks. Family is normal, so to speak. Weather is now back to normal- and no shit- it's snowing. Small little flurries, but it'll still count.

changes in just 60 days~

2008-02-04T15:27:00.000-05:00

It amazes me how things grow in just 2 months time. The 2 photos are of the same walk way- literally 2 months apart! [one May, the other July] I even moved some of the daylillies to new homes, this past summer. i'll finish later--

Sometimes I really hate you--

2008-01-31T14:44:00.001-05:00

You dogs-- you!!! GRRR!!! Why must you constantly dig under the fence, break through the bottom of the fence, find any 'semi-open' gap or weak point in the fence and squeeze through it like little moles??!!! It's a beautiful day outside- high 40's. A bit too warm for me, this is Jersey and January folks- waiting for snow here. It's a great day for some dog fun -outside. I leave you out-- and if I neglect to check on you say, every 4 stinkin' minutes- You've found a way out! Free, freedom, to romp through the woods, chase squirrels, terrorize the dogs down the driveway, run through neighboring yards, I've never actually have seen you down in the neighboring court-- but being there's a big yellow lab down there, with an invisible fence... well- i bet you harass the hell out of him, as well.

I give you love, food, shelter, a nice couch to lay on-- [how this became, I'm not sure-- I guess I became a 'bit soft' with all the renovation going on- and didn't nip this one in the bud] . You get chew treats, 'babies' bones and you have lots of buddies. I just don't get it??? Then when I realize you are missing- it's ME- I'm the one out there calling your names, searching, hoping nothing bad has happened to you. You little doggies may give me gray hair before the kids do.

the 'other' b-day gift~

2008-01-30T10:44:00.000-05:00

For my 38th birthday- I received the wonderful light [bare bulb post] from my husband- and $$ from my parents. This past Saturday, my mom and I went to one of my favorite haunts and found this chair:) as well as a bunch of other things I would have loved- but with tight-funds, they're still there [hopefully] waiting for me. 10 years ago- I never would have thought I'd be so happy and lucky to receive a wonderful light for my b-day- nor would I never [and i mean- NEVER EVER] buy a 100something old [used] chair with extra money. Normally- it would have gone to the new spring-bag fund [to be used at Coach]. My how lives change.... mine, especially.

How can a day start bad......

2008-01-30T09:06:00.000-05:00

....when it begins with a pink coffee machine? I love waking up to my Hello Kitty coffee pot:) I have a whole assortment of Kitty things-- toaster oven, toaster [burns her face into the toast], popcorn machine, waffle maker [little H.Kitty HEADS!!!], milkshake maker, telephone- get the picture??? The only thing- to this day I have not successfully poured a cup of coffee from this thing- w/out spilling it!!?? Why???? It just like dribbles out the side and whatnot. I try so hard, all slow, carefully, over the sink--- spillage.

It's yucky, gray and rainy outside today:( After the school bus- I feed the birds- then made my way into the woods to check on the stray cat food situation. I just wish I knew for sure if it was mama stray eating or other things? In the old coop there were a lot of little birds all dancing and singing around outside-- maybe they're eating the food in there? In the old stables- the water bowl is ALWAYS empty- it's a large bowl- and the food was half eaten- and a bunch from the bag was spilled out. Someone ripped into the bag of food- when I didn't feed for 3 days- out of laziness and it being cold. Could a raccoon or skunk be eating that? Ground hog? I just wish I could catch that mama cat- get her fixed- no more babies... Every time I gain her trust- then set up a trap- GONE! I lose her for a while. A no win situation.

I may do multiple posts today- partly because I'm a Loser [w/ a big L] and partly because I have a few photos I want to put up- and the other part is the fact that I'm 'IN' today. Studying, laundry, a quick trip to the grocery shop, running kids, changing a bed. Exciting junk. I'm not a TV person- no 'the view' or corny crap like that. So now and then a short break at the computer- read the latest murders and badshit that goes on in the world around. nice.

Bare Bulbed for 60+

2008-01-29T07:01:00.000-05:00

Upstairs- we have a grand front hall...THEN the 'back hall'. The whole 'servants' thing going on. Back stairs leading to the 1st floor- and back stairs leading to the 3rd floor. The main stairs- in the front hall- go from 1st to 3rd floor. In the back hall- this plaster light has been hanging since at least early 1940. However- I'm still not entirely sure. It may have arrived earlier in time. It's just that in 1941- the second family to own our home bought the house and did a lot of restoration. The home was lost to the bank during the Great Depression and sat empty for a while [until 1941]. I read somewhere [restoration catalogue] that a homeowner would rather leave a plain ol' light bulb hanging from the ceiling that put up any old lighting fixture. This made me laugh- because this is very true in the case of out house. We've had many naked bulbs hanging around. We still have one remaining- a naked bulb- in our bedroom.

For my birthday- Larry completely surprised me with a 'new' old light for the naked bulb hallway. I saw it online a while ago. I showed it to him- told him the history of the company that made it. Acorn Brass Co. from Chicago- went out of business during the great depression. How this would be the perfect light for that hall way- plus it was affordable! Since one day I truly intend to have a Cornelius and Baker gasolier in the downstairs hall- this is what the 'going back to school=JOB' thing is all about. Anyway- about 2 days after I saw the below light online- I went to view it again-->GONE! First thought: hmmm... Larry bought it for my b-day? Nah-- he wouldn't think of that. so time passed, I never mentioned the light again. I was super surprised on my birthday when I opened this baby up:) I don't need fancy clothes or jewelry to make me happy~ a hundred year old light will do just perfect.

Welcome Home new light. We'll be happy to have you around for another 100 years or so.....

nervous? scared? excited? a whole bunch of...

2008-01-21T19:37:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is the day- I go back to college. I feel like a dork- I'm not mocking higher education- but I just feel like a dork. I turn 38 this week. I will have a class on my birthday, in the evening. I guess no B-day dinner will be taking place on my B-day. For a girl who has attended many different colleges/universities- always changing my major- changing my mind [location]. I really have zero to show for it- except I had to pay back a lot of student loans. I have some cool bits of pieces- of-knowledge from an assortment of classes [I LOVED catastrophic geology] and some wild memories from past friends and boyfriends. Okay- It DEFINITELY requires college and some Canadian friends to decide a weekend road trip to Toronto. It also requires a young college student [me- at the time] to come up with the wonderful lie that you are spending the weekend at your friend's Fathers' Shore House AND that you are not really going to Canada. Toronto is definitely NOT the Jersey shore- but Labatt's taste the same in both areas. It was just the fact that in one location- I could legally buy it.. and in the other location Well.... the fake Canadian ID came in handy.

As I'm getting older [pushing 40! Yikes!!!] I realized I need a career/job/some earning of money activity. Since all the 'forgotten' past college majors never panned out... A professional Photographer for Surfer Magazine, a Meteorologist for the TV news or a Special Education teacher. I thought about different things I'd like to do- different careers- and then it hit me--> nursing school. I'm going to become a nurse. It takes a while to get use to. Taking me a while to get use to hearing it... saying it... thinking it. Through our community college and the huge monopoly hospital system here- I can accomplish this goal in 2-3 years time. I will become an RN and work at the hospital- and be all ER-ish. I'm not mocking it-- I know it's serious stuff. I actually would prefer to work in a hospital- vs. a doctors office or a school [hell no! I do not want to be a school nurse]. I like the idea of the whole 'working in the middle of night- not knowing who will walk through the hospitals doors next' kind of thing. If there is a bit of mockery/humor here it's because I'm nervous and okay, I'm scared. Just when I went to register I felt odd/nerdy/weird/OLD!!! I'll also admit- I did rule out one nursing program because of the uniform. Okay- it's a Catholic hospital and the class pictures- for each graduating year- were taken in front of this Jesus picture. I'm not a Jesus-person. I'm not a religious person- at all! But that's not reason for the ruling out. It was the uniforms. They honestly wore White shirts, white SKIRTS with white stockings and little WHITE NURSING CAPS. It's like borderline bad Porn outfit or re-visiting the 50's. It frightened me~ seriously. This should be interesting....

Cat Call-

2008-01-20T14:54:00.000-05:00

This photo was taken this summer. It's the front of an old chicken coop-/ old living quarters-/ old 'another project that I wish we had the funds for'.

Recently I discovered Mama Stray Cat- AKA Oliver's Mom- has been passing through here. One cold morning- on a trek to it, I have to pass through our old falling down stable [again: another 'wishing we had the funds for projects'] . Coming into the stables armed with big bag of cat food, bowls, water bottles, blankey, cat house-thing... I spot a grayish kitten in the stables. He a seems to me as though he is one of Mama Strays- being I raised 6 of her kittens and found them all nice homes. Including Oliver: Ollie- who lives here, the life of luxury! I've never been able to catch Mama Stray. I need to have her neutered. It's driving me slightly nuts that I am unable to capture her. I constantly try to regain her trust. I've watched her at the end of the driveway- stalk rabbits in the brush. It makes me very sad to think of her out there- when it's bitter cold, or pouring rain.

It's 26 out now. It was pretty cold on my face when I just made my way out there to check the food status. I'm pretty determined. I will catch Mama Stray. If dreams and visions could become reality in a moments notice- The old chicken coop/living quarters would be rockin'... all fixed up. A cool little outside office. Mama Stray Cat could live there, have plenty of food and warmth. It would be an amazing place. I really think it will be one day, provided it can remain standing a few more seasons. Visions and dreams - I MAKE them realities... it just takes some time, funds and patience.

Love and Beauty-in shiny things

2008-01-17T14:34:00.000-05:00

This Radiator- is my love, my most awesome 'find'. My favorite heat source! I know it sounds really superficial to have a true feeling of love- for a cast iron object- BUT- to admire this, to think of its age, the home it graced, the people it kept warm... changes things? We went to a salvage yard- I frequent- about a year ago. I found the 'mate' to one of the radiators in the dining room. I needed to replace a leaky one [that rusted through the bottom] and don't you know... i found an identical match! I found it online- they still had in the salvage yard so we sent out for our 50 minute journey. Once there- I began looking around and this radiator- complete with lions and cherubs- was laying on the ground, muddy and yucky. The affection began at that moment. I knew I wanted it in our home- had no clue where.

The kitchen! We had an old 'hot water-converted to steam' plain-jane radiator near the table. The once nice thing about the ol' plain-jane radiator was, its height. It was short- a perfect height for sitting on. To warm ones' ass.... or perhaps get 3rd degree burns. As much as I do miss the ass-burnings, I love looking at the lions and cherub heads more:) It throws off amazing heat- and when the sun hits the wall just right you see the heat waves rise and the smoke from the steam. It may be one of my favorite 20 things in this house? I have a lot of favorite things here. I'm thankful for the home that once 'housed' this fine heating element. I have given it a wonderful home now. I hope for it to stay here for the rest of my existence and maybe longer.

Diet Time for Mom & Jack-

2008-01-13T16:20:00.000-05:00

I'm on a diet- Jack is on a diet. We're both large. Jack- is now 130 lbs. Not good:( He should be around 100-105. He was up to 128, then at his next 'weigh-in' he was 125! He was just at the Vet this past week....130:( Nightly walks have been happening and cutting back on snacks and treats. We don't give him people food. He runs around the yard like a nut- with Lucy and Chloe. We have a huge part of our yard fenced in, plenty of room to run. In the summer he swims- every day!! He has a routine. He goes out in the morning- does his 'thing' [pee] then goes in the pool for 2 laps, sits on the pool steps for a few- then gets out. He swims about 5 times a day during the summer. This sometimes can be very frustrating. When we're about to head out- and he decides to swim.

Me-- I've just chunked out! I became lazy- and stopped running/walking. I've started this weekend, along with watching what I eat. Not that I'm a huge eater- I'm just good at eating the WRONG things. [I like Cake, very much!] I'd like to get back into Kickboxing. I was totally in great shape a few years ago. I had the confidence that if I were to get into a bar-fight I would clearly kick the other chicks ass. Ok-- I don't hang out in bars... Nor have I ever really gotten into a bar-fight, so to say.... But just the thought that I'd be Ok- if this should ever be the situation- we'll it was a cool feeling. So- we'll see what happens.

Where'd you go Winter????

2008-01-11T11:47:00.000-05:00

For the past 2 weekends- the girls have been able to go snowboarding. This past week- after watching a highly-education MTV program [MADE]- [joking here, people!] Anna has now decided, she too- would like to snowboard. Which I was very happy about. Basically because the girl has done tae kwon do for 2 years, her balance is amazing, she has strong legs, but most importantly- she now has the D's. Drive, Desire and Determination. Now all the girls can do it. My girls - along with my sisters' girls - do a lot together. Beach, swimming, skim boarding together in the summer. All of our crazy day-outtings that we always seem to come up with. Now- the last is to join the snowboarding clan. My 2 older nieces drive- they usually head up there every weekend to snowboard. Alex tags along. Now with Anna joining the Mix- Larry will have to go, as well. Since he LOVES to snowboard- this really shouldn't be a problem. The only real issue here is--- WEHRE THE HELL DID WINTER GO???

It's been like 50-60 degrees this past week. I've been outside doing 'stuff' that usually takes place in the spring. It's January. It's suppose to be like 20 out. It's been nice- a few warmer days, raking leaves that should have been taken care of 2 months ago. Seeing the pansy's looking amazing! Growing and in full bloom in their pots- on the porch. But seriously- it is January, quickly approaching February. Ski season here. The girls are suppose to be snowboarding- and missing school from the rare 'snow day'. This is all just a bit messed up. Let's hope Mr. Winter is coming soon.

Tonite- I'm taking a bunch of teens to be dropped off to see Juno. Except- another mom is going with me. Once we drop them off- we will park. Hang out a few- then we will also go see Juno. It's this whole- 'embarrassment' thing- if we go to the same movie as they do. I really really really want to see the Kite Runner. It was one of my favorite books. I know the movie will not do the book justice. I just love K.Hosseini's writting style. It has a very romantic flow to it. Like a song. However- if you would think these 2 movies would ever remotely play NEAR the same time--- Well- you're wrong. Juno also looks good. We'll settle on that- but I still have to make sure I see the Kite Runner. Okay- hair appointment soon. There goes a whole flippin' afternoon!!!! sucks:(

Spring is in the air-- January????

2008-01-08T18:34:00.000-05:00

Today was freakishly warm- AGAIN! This would be ok- if it was like March. It's January. We haven't even had winter yet! So these warm days mean- time outside doing 'pre-spring' stuff- meaning.... stuff that was never finished in the fall. This means the never ending raking of the leaves. I raked and hauled wheelbarrow- after wheelbarrow full of leaves into the woods for 3 hours. I have a big pull car for the mower- but it wouldn't start:( It needs to be 'jumped' and it needs service- oil change, etc... No- i do not know how to 'jump' a vehicle. I'm really dumb in that department. Plus- it's pulled into the barn straight-forward, so it would require me to push it out. There are some jobs I'm not ashamed to 'hand-over' to the husband. Getting the John Deere started will be one of them.

The above is a picture of the old work-shop in the top of our barn. The barn needs desperate help! I need desperate money! Raking in front of it today- then every time I'd 'wheel' past it, I would look, survey,think, wonder, dream, convince myself- It Can Be Done! Larry and I will have to restore this barn- alone and together. We don't have the finances to hire people. We don't really have the finances to do it ourselves. We'll just have to do it a bit at a time. We've all ready have thought about it-- in steps. What needs to be done now to preserve it before any more damage occurs. I guess we'll just have be patient - something I'm not very good at...at all.

This past weekend I went with 2 girlfriends, 3 kids and 3 teenagers to see Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus in Atlantic City. It was fun:) It was a first concert for my youngest- which yeah-- duh- she's 9! She was beyond excited! It was fun watching the teenagers- because they were bopping , singing, dancing, having fun! A bit different than how they act than say---seeing Cobra Starship. They had fun:)

On Sunday- My sisters and I took Mom to see Rent. Part of her Christmas gift. I'm never sure how these events are 'gifts'. We've done: Singing in the Rain- in Atlantic City. Barry Manilow- at the Garden. And I'm sure a bunch of other events that I've blocked out. These events are not 'gifts'. They are hell. In the end it's always about THE FOOD. Whatever place I suggest- my younger sister is like: I'm not eating there! blah, blah- and all this other crap. The inner me wants to naturally- punch her in the face. The grown-up me, thinks of another place and grunts. The last outing [December] we had a bit of a blow in a restaurant, after a holiday house tour. It got so ugly- she told me, 'Shut Up'!!! I calmly said [okay, maybe a bit loud] "Fuck You!" Well--- talk about 2 teenagers almost pissing their pants! That would have been my daughter and my niece. They enjoyed the show- the table next to us were fearful of our mental state. There's always an issue when you get us all together. Hopefully no more sisters/mom outings for a while- at least until Spring. As for Rent- it was 'ok'. Just ok. I mean, I thought the actors were great- their voices amazing! I just wasn't thrilled with the whole story. It's kind of like how The Real World represents every ethnic group, sexual preference, and problem facing society. The story made sure it had all of that. It was annoying! yeah- I complain a lot. Can't help it.

On the hunt for-

2008-01-07T09:43:00.001-05:00

Today I'm searching for Purple transferware - with a diamond mark, so i can date it.

I'm wishing for good thing:)

You served us well-

2008-01-03T09:52:00.000-05:00

You served us well- Mr. Christmas Tree. You looked so pretty with all your lights and memories of ornaments old and young. I watered you- day and night! The presents looked lovely. Ollie Kitten didn't even climb you, much to my surprise. I faithfully took Claritin the whole month- I felt GREAT! In fact, I felt so wonderful that I wasn't so 'faithful' and forgot to take it for 3 days. My eyes are now bulging out of my head, snot running down my face and dripping down the back of my throat. Not sleeping the past few nights- horrid sore throat. All I want to do is drink hot tea! [preferably starbucks chi- at a disgusting, yet yummy $4.23 a pop....] Today, Tonight, I work on dismantling you so that you may be free. again. outside. on the curb. away from my stuffed-up allergic to self.

I found out I was allergic last year- after suffering from one sinus infection after the other- for a whole flippin' month and a half! I didn't have the heart [or $$$] this year to buy a fake one. I'm not ready to go there yet. The fake tree. Sure I own fake tree's- white ones. But not for 'the Tree'. The Santa Tree, present tree, gather around tree. It was a pretty tree- though. Still is. It just hurts to be near it. :( Sorry Mr. Tree, you were kind to us. A Christmas photo back-drop, a light source, a place to hang our memories. He was dead to begin with- that's the pretty fucked up part.

Hope everyone's holiday was Merry! Let's all hope for some snow now. Peace for 2008.

Dip and Stress

2007-11-20T23:28:00.000-05:00

Why is it- that when I'm stressed: I EAT. Larry- he's skinny. Me- roundish. Owning your own business- slow times- Feeling like I'm experiencing 'first hand' what I believe to be the the great depression: 2008. My home has seen the depression era. I'm also a firm believer of that life goes in cycles, all things come back. Leg warmers are back-- I mean c'mon, is this not proof that all things come back: wonderful OR shitty?? When I'm stressed I eat. I've been stressed- I'm eating. Butter crackers with walnut, pineapple and cranberry dip. Left over from our party this past weekend. I all ready ate through all the left-over brownies, cookies and raspberry bars [my personal favorite!!!].

Life is sucking that's all. And I still don't know how to post photos- which sucks more. I just don't have the energy or brain power at this moment to give it a thought.

Parade day

2007-10-27T16:26:00.000-04:00

It's here! The night of the big Halloween parade. It's a big deal here, in town. It's awesome that it's going to happen. It poured all day!!! I mean- super rain. Lots of rain! Me: Coach Cris- we had a game this morning. We were able to indoor- on turf, which is super cool for the girls. 1 week left for field hockey with the girls. It's been a lot of fun. But anyway-- during the game, you could hear the rain on the roof of the indoor field. It was amazing how loud and powerful! Again- lots of rain!

But for now: The sun is out- the Parade is go on. Our new office is in town, on Main Street- which is perfect for all the town events. We're having some friends there: pre-parade. Some hoagies and beer, hotdogs for the short people. The teens troll the streets, the kids wait for the candy and we all enjoy the show. This year none of us are in it. Last year I was in it- with my youngest [and girl scouts]. I was a tree. let's just leave it at that. A tree.

Need to go ready for the big event! I should post our Halloween picture from last year- but i've yet to figure out how to post picutures. I'm feeling rather dumb--- actually Lazy is much better. I mean, i Know I could figure it out- I just lack the time right now.

Here goes.....

2007-10-26T23:11:00.001-04:00

I use to do this...blog. A long time ago. Maybe 8 years ago? I'm not sure how the whole 'blog thing' is perceived-- Is it a place to rant and complain? Express ideas? Let people [who you otherwise really don't keep in touch with] keep in touch with you? Show your creative side? Pass judgement? Place judgement? Tick, Time, Click. Sometimes I go to bed with too much 'junk' in my head, filling my mind. So.... what better way to unload that 'junk' than to blog?

Here I go... again!